Years ago Josh used to go hunting every weekend and leave me home alone. Back then I thought that when I had kids at least I'd have someone to hang out with while he was gone. Another delusion from my pre-child days. I have been counting down the days until the boys could go with Josh. This year Carson finally went. He loved it! In the future, my dream Saturday consists of both boys gone with Josh and me home alone or out enjoying my own opening days.
We're three days in at this point, and it's smooth sailing so far. My motivation to get dressed and actually take Carson there has waned a bit. This morning I contemplated going in my Santa pajama pants and then decided against it when I realized it was still just the first week, I should probably stick to real pants. Ok real yoga pants.
A lot of Carson's old friends from last year are there again, but there are some new faces, too. I've actually been avoiding one mother after getting stuck with her own version of crazy at the morning work tables. Never again. Carson is still not thrilled about the morning work, but we'll get through it one agonizing tracing session after another.
The pictures didn't turn out great because the subject refused to smile unless I said "farts" and it was so hot outside that the camera kept fogging up.
This has been a hard, hard summer for me. The unofficial beginning of it was ushered in with the death of my Nanny. I should have taken that as a sign of things to come, but I didn't. I was far too wrapped up in my own grief for foreshadowing. However, this summer has taken at least one loved one from many of my friends, and in an unspeakable twist of fate, two from one family.
Dear Lord, I was not ready for this. I was not ready to lose my most beloved grandma and then to be confronted with death over and over and over again. Somehow, from somewhere deep within me, always finding more tears to cry for my friends and myself. Death can be so cruel. What a bitter, heartbreaking reality that I have faced too many times this summer. I've been to three funerals in three months, sent four sympathy cards that I know come nowhere near close to the comfort I wish I could give, the comfort I wish I could find for myself.
I've visited my grandma's grave probably a hundred times in the last twelve weeks, and I still cry probably every time. I don't know when the tears will stop, when my heart will just sort of hurt at the thought of all I've lost, all we've lost this summer. Somehow, inexplicably, life goes on, but my heart is forever changed.
It's been a while. Over a month since I've blogged. Probably the longest blog break I've taken in the last four and a half years. I'll try to start back now.
The last two months have been full of summer activities: playground, boat, fireworks, popsicles. You know the deal. Summer with kids. We have been staying busy but also getting our down time at home.
In the last two months, I've read 26 books. Reading is pretty much my hobby. Always has been. Since I was a little girl. It helped me through a lot as a kid and still helps me wind down after a long day taking care of two active boys and an always messy house.
My goal both in June and July was 10 books, and I read 13 each month. So I'm happy!
And just for a refresher: four stars means I liked it a lot, three stars means it was ok and two stars means don't bother with it. If I had to pick my favorite from June, it would probably be 10% happier, but it's probably not everyone's cup of tea. I also really enjoyed all three of Ruth Reichl's books.
I am pretty sure I haven't read a 5 star book this year until July. I absolutely loved both The Invention of Wings and The Boys in the Boat. They were probably two of my favorite books of all time. So good! If you take nothing else from this post, just read both of those books!
Hi! I am a mommy to Carson and Archer. Wife to Josh. Reader. Writer. Caramel Macchiato Drinker. Nap time Lover. Short Order Cook. East Carolina Pirate. Jackie Kennedy Admirer. Blogger. Friend. Yogi. Nice to meet you! I'm Jackie.